The Crazy Man of Day 1...

To all ye who are interested,
Day 1 is complete. And a story is being called for. Open thine ears.

I go back to my place after cross country practice at 8:15AM. I'm tired, but I decide I must not sleep, for my first class is at 10:35 AM. What to do in this time? After a coffee that sends my mind ramblin' and a Target run for some essentials, I come back to my place, turn on Mozart, set up a few pillows, and meditate to the beautiful music, flowing deeply into the moment, to my core. I meditate for 20 minutes, feeling calm and centering on the breath, and as my alarm rings, I realize it is time to prepare. I put on my shirt and tie, my khakis and dress shoes, and pack the essentials for this first 10 minute class-- binders, a felt marker for the whiteboard, and iPod complete with dock. I depart into the humidity.
I walk into school and hear a man speaking into a megaphone. As I travel to its source, I feel that nervous sensation bubbling within. My fears coming to bay- "What if I'm not good?" "What if I mess it up?" "What if I lose my cool?" And I take a deep breath and move forward, maintaining the connection with my core. I go to the railway overlooking the main common area, and my eyes are greeted with the sight of hundreds of kids in dark blue Rockhurst spirit shirts listening to the Assistant Principal of Student Affairs talking loudly into a megaphone. I find my roommate, we smile, and suddenly, the voice is taken over by the sound of pounding drums- the students begin to move rapidly up the stairs, off to their first class. "What do you know," I say, "...it's time."
I walk over toward room 207 where I know my first class is. The students are going over there even though it is 10 minutes before the scheduled time. Being a new teacher, I figure I simply should go over, we must be ahead of schedule. I walk through the sea of kids without looking at a single one, a hard look on my face. I part the students at the door, open it, and hold the door open as I enter. Students begin filing in, and I take my position at front. "Should we just sit anywhere?" they ask. I nod my head and remain silent. They file in, and I set up the iPod dock behind me, preparing. For what you ask? For none other than Mr. Ludwig Van. I stare out at the kids as they enter into their seats, and I realize, the time has begun. Time to enact the first day plan- remain silent and stare out at the class until someone has the balls to say something. I resume my seat at the front, and the students stare at me, silently. They are expecting something. I am not giving it to them. Their eyes remain focused on me, and as the silent moments pass, they enter into a deeper confusion of what the hell is happening. Now, this would be an easy task for 10 minutes, but because my naivete brought me to class 10 minutes early instead of waiting for the scheduled time, I now have 20 minutes to endure. I realize that, take a deep breath, and stare out at them some more. I look into the eyes of those looking at me. Some look away, and some continue staring. Kids look around with confused looks; I stare at them until they see me doing so. The bell rings for class to begin, we've been here for almost 10 minutes. I stand up, grab my marker, and take off the cap. And there is no felt. You gotta be kidding me... no felt on a felt tip marker? It simply wasn't there. So I scratch that idea. I turn to the iPod player, and I press play. Immediately, Beethoven's 5th Symphony in C Minor begins with the ominous four notes. I resume my seat, look out once more, and say nothing.
We sit and listen for quite some time, still nothing said. The time is going so slow, but this is incredible. These kids are so confused, no idea what is going on, and all they see is a maniacal teacher up front staring at them with wide eyes. I motion like I am going to say something, then go back into scanning the room. With 5 minutes remaining, I decide that I will say something. I adopt a confused look on my face, hold my arms out, and say "...Well?" I look around; they seem more confused. After a few seconds, I ask, "Don't you have any questions on your first day?" I continue looking around, a sinister smile coming to my face. Kids are shaking their heads, I allow the silence to continue. Finally, a brave soul raises his hand. "Yes sir!" I say. And he speaks timidly. "Umm... are we gonna do this every day?" I raise a finger. "Aaah! A great question! And I will tell you... that you will see." I resume my facade and continue scanning the room. A few moments, and another hand raises. "What do we need to bring to class on Tuesday?" "Another good question! I will tell you." They all get their little notebooks out. I yell out "Bring your BOOK! I am also aware that you have a Bible, bring that. And have them with you EVERY DAY! Have a writing utensil, and bring a NOTEBOOK." They have enough info, I decide. For now. Another hand. "What's your name?" he asks. I almost smile, but I respond, "Another good question! Can anybody answer that for him?" A few hands go up, I call on a kid, he looks at a paper in front of him, and correctly says my name, "Mr. Lawlor." I commend him and repeat it, introducing myself. And another hand. "Do you like this music?" I almost laugh again. "Do I like this music? I assure you, I will never play music in this classroom that I do not like. It is all good music. And if you don't like the music that I play, I don't care, because I DO. And if you DO like the music, then come chat with me, and we will talk about how great it is." Some light laughs. A few more moments. A kid asks a question. I say "Excuse me sir! You will RAISE YOUR HAND if you are to speak in my classroom!" He timidly puts his hand up. "Yes sir" I say. "Well... why can't we disagree with you if we don't like the music?" My finger raises. "Ahh a great question. And the answer is, you CAN. But not in the middle of class. However, you may come up to me after class and you may tell my why you don't like it. I will give my reasons for liking it, and if your opinion is different, I will respect it... unless it's bad." They all laugh. I smile a bit. I like this class, a lot. So I ask, "Does anyone know WHO this IS?" Hands immediately go in the air. I call on a kid, "Beethoven!" "Yes, excellent! Ludwig van Beethoven. Does anyone know what PIECE it is?" A lone hand raises. "Beethoven's 5th." "Yes! Fantastic, that is correct," I say. No talking for a few more moments. Tension again. I break the silence and say "Beethoven's 5th in C minor," and leave it at that. More silence. I continue to scan. It seems they are out of questions for the moment. After a minute or two of musical silence, I simply say "Systematic Theology 1!" A few more moments... "Is everybody in the right class?" They all shake their heads. Time is almost up. Just another minute. "Well gentlemen, you know what you need to bring Tuesday. I will tell you that I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you have the summer reading assignment done by class next Tuesday. And if you have not read it, I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you do it NOW. I will leave it at that." And class ends. They begin to file out. 3 kids come up to me, look me in the eye, hold out their hands, and say "thanks for the class." I shake their hands and say "no problem, thank you for the questions." And class number one is over.
I leave the room, feeling great. This is too good. It was hilarious, the kids ask good questions, a few seem smart, and I haven't seen any big smart asses yet. It all went great and was a blast all the while. I have 20 minutes until the next class, and I feel on top of the world. I walk around and go down to my new office in the Pastoral office. I wait for a bit, get a new marker, and prepare to go to my next class. I arrive and walk through the Freshmen without saying anything or looking at any, still feeling great, more comfortable than ever. I open the door in the same fashion and allow them to file in. I can immediately tell this group is more unruly. They are laughing, joking around, much louder. They file into their seats. I sit up front, take a deep breath, and stare out in similar fashion. I begin to look around in the same way, and immediately, a kid starts cracking up. I look over at him. He's trying not to catch eyes, he's trying to stifle a laugh, but he can't hold it in. He's lost it. And other kids are laughing. I can tell this class will be more difficult. Am I ready to yell at these kids though? How do I get them to shut up? Can they tell I'm just messing around? They continue laughing, and I make my stare more intense. I focus it entirely on the laughing kid, and he puts his head down, trying to stifle his laugh. The bell rings, I stand up, and I walk over to the whiteboard across the room. I grab the marker out of my pocket, and it is the same one as before, no felt tip. I look at it, and toss it on the ground. I hear the kids laugh. I get out the new pen, and in crazy old professor fashion, I write in huge swirling letters "Systematic Theology I," with "Mr. Lawlor" directly underneath. I put the pen down, walk across the classroom, turn on Beethoven behind the podium, and sit in my chair at the front. Now in this classroom, there is a path cleared between the desks, which are set up on either side of the room, facing each other. So these kids are staring at each other, from across the way, making each other laugh. The kid is still laughing. But the bell rang. It is my time, I decide. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND," I abruptly shout out, as all eyes turn right to me, "WHY SOME PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING!" I stare out with wide eyes, and turn to the kid who was laughing the most. He is stifling the laugh more than before, but he is still struggling a bit. "You will NOT LAUGH IN THIS CLASSROOM!" I shout as I stare at him. Immediately, his face goes completely rigid. He looks terrified. I look around, and no one is laughing anymore. "UNDERSTOOD?!" "Yes" they all say immediately.They are all looking either at the desks or the floor, scared at the maniac in front of the class. I look around, and all is silent but the music. Minutes of silence. I see two kids in the back whispering to each other, so I stare directly at them, eyes wide once more. They look at me, and I simply nod my head, like an insane man. They go back to silence. I let this go until 5 minutes are left in class. Then I attempt to recreate the environment of the previous class, asking "Well? Don't you have questions on your first day?" A hand goes up. "How long have you been a teacher here?" the smartass in the back asks, thinking he's the coolest guy around. I stare at him, and I say "How long have I been a teacher here? ... maybe you'll find out someday." I go back to scanning the room. Another hand goes up, "Are you a real teacher?" the next smartass asks. I stare at him with wide eyes. I lower my voice. "You know, it's a good thing it's the first day, because I would not let that slide, but I'm more generous than usual today. But you will have RESPECT, and ask RESPECTFUL questions." He looks down and nods his head. Yeah, these are a bunch of punks in this class. Another raised hand. "What should we bring to class?" "Ahh, now that's a GOOD question. That's something everyone is wondering I'm sure. Well I will tell you." And they get their notebooks out, and with slightly more sternness than the previous class, I tell them what they MUST bring. And I assure them they will need it EVERY DAY throughout the semester. "We will not use it every day, but we will use it, and if you do not HAVE IT... you will be... destroyed." A few confused chuckles. They write the stuff I tell them down, as if it is immensely important. Which I guess it is to them. I give them the same speal about the summer reading. I look around, ready for more questions. A kid raises his hand. "What are we going to do in this class?" "Another good question," I say, and without answering, I look around the class again, scanning. The kid that was laughing before raises his hand. "Yes sir" I say. "Um... where is the music coming from?" he asks. I hear kids whisper 'iPod..." but not loudly enough to here. I respond, "that's a good question," and leave it at that. A kid raises his hand, ready to tell that it's from the iPod, but I don't call on him. I'm ready for this class to be over, these kids are already a handful. But damn it's a fun challenge. They are testing me... and they will continue to test me. Another kid puts his hand up, "How do you pronounce your last name?" "Aah, now THIS is a good question isn't it?" I wait a moment. "Would anyone like to try?" Hands go up immediately. I call on a kid, "Mr. Law-lore?" "Not quite! But close. Anyone else?" A nervous looking kid. "Mr. Lawl-er." "Yes! That is correct. Pronounced as if the 'o' is an 'e,' except spelled with an 'o'. 'Lawlor.'" They continue to look around.
"Now," I continue, "it seems we are almost out of class. You know what you need Tuesday, be sure to bring it. And I will see you then." It is 20 seconds from the bell. The moment hits... and the bell does not ring. Oh shit... I have no idea what's happening. The moments continue, and the bell still does not ring. Damn... these kids need to get out of here while I still have control. The moments pass, and I stare at the board in front of me, not looking at the kids, who are not moving. 3 minutes go by, and I see another hand go up. I decide I must answer him... though in heinsight, I probably should have let it go. "Yes" I say. "Where IS the music coming from?" I pause a moment, look around, and say "...I'm not sure." They all laugh. I can't help but smile. More silent moments. I'm about to let them go, but I decide one more fun game is in order. So amidst the silence, as they look around, bored and confused, I suddenly SLAM my hands on my podium. I see 5 kids jump out of their skin, one even shrieks. "NOW I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU!" I shout. They all stare at me, a few laugh, for good reason. And there is a knock on the door. It's Ernman, a senior from the cross country team. I let him come in. "Umm... are you guys still in here for fourth period?" "Yes we are Ernman" I say. "Ok, well it's over... the bells aren't ringing." "Thank you sir, we'll just take one more minute." He leaves, and I turn to the class to finish the question I posed myself to ask. "Does anyone KNOW who the artist of this music is?" A few hands go up. I call on laughing kid. "Bach?" "Not quite, but close." I call on another kid. "Beethoven?" "Yes sir! Ludwig van Beethoven. And on THAT NOTE, you are dismissed. Thank you gentlemen, it's been a pleasure, and I will see you Tuesday." They scuffle away. Some diverting looks... few look at me, but I can tell they are ready to challenge me in the upcoming days. Yet that facade was merely the first day facade. It will change every day! Endless characters to be... I see that teaching is no more than acting! And it is great. I pack up my things, and seniors walk into the room to grab their lunches. One comes over to me. "So word on the street is there is no laughing in your class. Is this true?" I smile a bit. "Well... the word on the street always says funny things... so we'll see" I say. "Crack the whip" he says. I make the motion of doing so, and depart into the future of my teaching endeavors.

So the first day was a grand fun adventure to say the least. I couldn't stop thinking about the classes for a while after. I can tell it's going to be a great time. Quite a challenge, without a doubt, but a great time. I realize I need to show that I am confident, I know what I'm doing, and I won't take bullshit. I hope I showed at least some of that through my ridiculous first day performance. I hope you have enjoyed, and I will post new words upon the next great adventure!